My to-do lists have recently each seemed as long as me. Ay! Overwhelming. You know the type, I’m sure! At first glance each list leaves me longing to simply curl up in a ball, house cat style, to just ignore all tasks completely. Sort of an: If I can’t see them, they can’t see me type of thing. It’d be nice sometimes, no?

Yet things need to get done, so we drudge our ways through the busy days (rhyme!) robotically scratching things off almost as if we’ve been set to autopilot.

Dogs fed? Stretches Done? Bills paid? Deadline met? Enough exercise? Meal made? etc.

And on and on and on it goes. Day in, day out, and day back in again. 

Yet, this morning prior to tackling the extremely messy, doodled and almost illegible handwritten list of my own, I was slooowly drinking my coffee and clicking my way through cyberspace (avoidance and procrastination are key when dealing/non-dealing with to-do lists…) when I stumbled on a list that has now made me appreciate and - dare I say it? - even enjoy tackling the most mundane and even dreaded tasks on my to-do lists. Yup!

“Be grateful.” “Trust.” “You are one of a kind.” “Happiness.” 

All of these (and many, many other) keywords on the above list, gave me the slap around the head I needed to remember that not so long ago, a to-do list would have been absolutely impossible for me. I longed for a to-do list - whether only one task long or two. I remember back to when, along with impossibly unexplainable horrific pain, walking was an absolute impossibility, leaving me to sob for the fact that I couldn’t just get up to simply do a silly chore such as clear the dishes. 

I’m about to leave too many out, but now think of those in the hospital desperately waiting on good news, the paralyzed & paraplegic for whom everything is ‘that’ much more difficult, and all those confined by any severe or chronic illness: the ones whose houses have slowly become remote island prisons.

Imagine their craving for normality. The hustle-and-bustle of everyday life. Namely - the hassle of a to-do list. 

Sometimes all you need is a little perspective to shake your system. Does this mean that I’ll forever sing like Cinderella everyday as I make my bed? I’m guessing probably or definitely not. But I will always appreciate that I was able to do it! From now on, I’ll be thankful for the hassle of my to-do lists, each silly little chore will be looked on as an honor, and as for all those fantastically satisfying check marks? Visible signs allowing me to count up my many blessings. :)

I hope that you’re day has been stress and pain free! Stay warm if you’re somewhere cold. Wear sunscreen if you’re somewhere hot. 

Lots of love, Danielle xx

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On TheProject3x5 all things are possible! So, let’s go back in time..! All the way to last week and the short post on my perfection of staying in bed. Remember it? I know, I know… I’m asking a lot after what was most likely a busy week filled with pain, stress, treatments, etc. But it’s important! Click here for a quick refresher. There’s backtracking to be done! Turns out I spoke too soon… 

I promise in advance that all of this writing will in the end have something to do with pictures of horses and with me getting out of bed…

One of my very best friends, Danielle (go figure!), berates me in the best of ways with the A.A. Milne quote, “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” This token of hope, strength, and wisdom is an amazing little tool and a wonderful reminder to have in an ‘ill one’s’ back-pocket when nothing else will do… but at the end of the day, when you think about it and put the quote into context… we ‘ill ones’ ultimately don’t actually need it.

Why? Well, having a Chronic Illness, being ‘sick’, and/or clawing your way back from the edge (feel free to put this into context if you’ve never been ill but have had to work hard for something, have had some sort of trauma, anything you’d like…) has already allowed you to prove to yourself once and for all that you ARE braver than you believe - perhaps braver than anyone initially believed! For the record… that was not a calming experience, People! It was scary! You felt alone. But you made it through the tunnel and you’re out the other side. Or you will be, soon. After dark comes light.

You’re damn strong too! Satisfyingly so! I’ll bet you don’t even realize it, but someone out there most likely looks up to you. You’re a survivor. A fighter. You held on and look at what you made it through!

Perhaps most importantly, however, you are so much, so mind-blowingly much, smarter than you seem. Because on top of everything that you dealt or are dealing with, you made it through the awful brain fog. Hell, you may simply exist in the awful brain fog… but that’s ok too! You’re still a clever-clogs! Do you know how much your poorly little brain is still managing to do in the middle of a brain-weather nightmare? No one should expect that you’d be 100% functioning normally with all of this, yet you probably strive to. You’re smarter than you think. 

So what’s this got to do with me, bed, and with pictures of horses..? 

On my 7th attempt to get out of bed last week, Mr. A.A. Milne and all that his quote has stood for in my fight against CRPS/RSD, decided to kick my little butt into gear and remind me that I am indeed brave, strong, and smart. And though she was a continent away and no where to be seen, Danielle’s face seemed to hover reminding me that I’ve seen worse, I’ve seen better, and I’ve never been one to lay down without a proper fight. 

My 7th attempt found me out of bed and on a friend’s farm. 

There will still be days for now when I will need my bed - part of any strength in a fight like this also comes in knowing and accepting that - but thankfully, this turned out not to be one of them. The weather, the company, and the setting were perfect! And as my last weekend in Trinidad, I’m thrilled I didn’t miss out.

Sometimes things go spectacularly right. I could not have felt more blessed. 

Lots of love, Danielle xx

Ps: Danielle is ironically fighting the fact that she has broken bones on both feet. Get well soon, Dan! xx

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