I was awake ALL night last night. Yup. You heard correctly. Why? Was I on a yacht partying with P. Diddy? Good guess… but no. Was I saving the world à la Jack Bauer? You very almost guessed it with that one… but sadly, nope, not this time. 

I was awake with searing nerve pain caused by the fact that I thought it would be a really brilliantly clever idea to stick my foot into the Pacific Ocean during my road trip down the coast of Northern California this weekend. So we’re now on day 3 in bed and going on 2 nights of no sleep.

But you know what… it WAS a clever idea! HA! I had the best time! I don’t take it back for a second.

Since my accident and my subsequent diagnosis of CRPS/RSD, one would almost swear that my sympathetic nervous system had been hijacked by a drunken, nuclear capable North Korea. And at times it’s beyond frustrating that seemingly normal events such as touching cold water (Josh speaking as a true warm-weather-Trini: “Touching the Pacific during winter is not normal”) can set off days of agonizing, hospital-worthy, even morphine-inducing pain. Even more annoyingly, this flareup probably would have happened to me had the water been warmer as well. 

BUT… 

At the end of the day, knowing that I “shouldn’t” or technically “can’t” be doing something due to the risk of my chronic pain acting up, only pushes me to want to do it more. And this constant motivation has set my life spinning off on the most brilliant cycle, with me hanging on for dear life and marveling as the colors whiz by. 

Imagine how incredible it must feel for me to be able to walk my dogs? There’s appreciation in every step! And to be able to slip those same walking-feet into high-heeled shoes? They feel like a luxury and I will never again complain about their pain, ever. I should be so lucky, really! Think of the joy that I feel while standing on sand, waiting for the ocean to rush up against my toes! I have goosebumps even writing it. 

I could go on and on, but my point in all of this is… why should it take a massive accident and the fear of almost losing a limb or a chronic and excruciatingly painful neurological disease to make one think so appreciatively? My brain might be a bit zonked due to the fact that I’ve been awake for a few days now, but I’m still clear headed enough to know that life is SO beautiful and full of little gems. Take it from me! I’m quite happy for the whole world to learn a lesson from my poor crushed little left leg. 

RELATED LINKS:

- Feet in the Pacific

- Chin Up, Kid

- Et Voila, Today I Smile