When one thinks ‘Chronic Pain’, the emotions that immediately jump to mind are most likely already looking for ways to lurk and seep their way back to the slimy and grimy most beaten up of recesses deep within one’s psyche. They aren’t exactly rainbows and butterflies!

The physical feeling of Chronic Pain sinks like an anchor, that may drag the best of us down to the bottomless pit of anger, fury, self-pity, and endless doubt. Shameless and greedy however, this Chronic Physical Pain begins to grow stronger in time - and no longer merely satisfied with the ‘unsophisticated emotions’ it has already royally made a mess of, it couples up with an emotional pain that may at times seem almost unforgiving.

That’s right… I’m talking about the all-consuming emotional pain of loneliness, disconnection, and alienation. As though sinking in a quicksand pit of these emotions, you have no choice but to surrender yourself one back, shoulder, knee, limb, digit, etc. at a time. There are so many names for it, but alienation by any other word still sucks - especially in the midsts of its absolutely nutty, relentless, overwhelming, unwanted, and mad companion - pain.  

The written piece in the link above (and shown partially below the picture) is called “In the Midst of All this Madness: Alienated” and was written by the fantastic and brilliant Megan over on her blog “In the Midst of All this Madness”. She’s a brilliant writer and pretty spot on at capturing the emotions that we (or at least, I, and based on your emails many of y’all most likely) feel on particular things.

DEFINITELY READ ON! 

(One Last TheProject3x5 Thing! Sharing this picture of me at my most alienated has made me feel much better. It’s like an emotional weight lifted off my already far-too-heavy shoulders, and I’m thankful to all of y’all for helping me get to this point! Share yours along with me (EVERYONE welcome! The more the merrier. No illness necessary.) as we give each other strength and possibly courage to those starting their recent journey. There’s no need to hold all the stress of that moment to yourself anymore.

• Email it!- theproject3x5@gmail.com
• Tweet it! - @theproject3x5
• Comment it! - Press Short URL, then look below the piece!
• Can’t wait to for the inspiration to start flooding in. Will keep it confidential if that’s what you’d prefer :)

A little backstory on my moment?

Having just lost a very dear friend as a Ranger in Afghanistan, I immediately flew from his funeral to Chicago for a first heavy dose of Ketamine in search of relief. It’s impossible to describe what you undergo and feel during such a treatment. Especially when you’re given such a heavy dose with a mind that’s littered with devastation. I had been warned to go in with a “clear, stress free mind”. Now I understand why! Upon completion, I received a phone call to say that another dear friend had passed away in a diving accident. In her writing below (or if you click on the link above!), Megan refers to this as, “stuck in a moment of time.” I’m quite possibly still stuck! I say it all the time. Anyway, in an effort to lift my spirits and normalize me somewhat… my mother shook the shock from me and up to the bustling top of the famous Sears Tower we went. An invisible ledge only seemed suiting for someone with an Invisible Illness. And so, here I am, feeling as though it’s me against the world. Cryogenically frozen somewhere over the streets of Chicago. I may be bundled up in a cloak of confusion, yet as always… I’m wearing my suit of armor. xx

inthemidstofallthismadness:

I feel odd. I refer to the feeling as disconnected, but even still, I am not sure exactly what it is that I feel. This pain becomes so alienating. So long as the pain is at a manageable level I can feel human, I can draw a connection with others. But as my discomfort climbs higher, and higher, I…