Grrr! It is so frustrating to have to write this post after having put in an incredible amount of extraordinarily painful work. However, as much as I despise feeling and having to admit this - we’re bang! smack! in the middle of my intense 6-week Physical Therapy program and (as happens over the course of many planned out exercise programs) it appears I’ve hit the dreaded plateau. Of course, in my case I’m exercising in an attempt to try and ease my Chronic Pain caused by Complex Regional Pain Syndrome/ Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (CRPS/RSD) into remission, not to lose weight. Yet, a plateau is a plateau is a plateau, and after lots of hard work, it’s more than slightly bloody frustrating, to say the least.
Although nerve pain always hung around, wreaking havoc from my toes to my ears - there did indeed exist a productive, spectacular, almost magical time about a week after my body had (in it’s own little way) warmed up and adjusted to the program. Rapid leaps and bounds of success were made! Meaning that: miles-and-a-bit were walked! Reps were increased! I mean, I don’t want to show off or anything… but light weights were even used on more than one occasion. Seriously, did you just read that last sentence? Read it again. Go on! I’ll wait. I know, right!?! I mean, pass me a cape and call me Superwoman.
The Plateau…
I’m sure you’ll understand my frustration then that the pain has now gone from extreme-but-understandable to extreme-but-whacko. CRPS/RSD is such a random little devil! One minute under control, the next minute out - and as far as my pain management team and I can tell, triggered by nothing. I was doing so well and now my pain is off the charts. Horrific. It’s a modern-day independent woman, and Honey, ain’t nothin’ holding her back.
I’ve had to unfortunately schedule another 3-day Ketamine Infusion when I go to my doctor in Chicago in 3 weeks time. I’m (as always) beyond nervous about the ketamine, but (as always) giving positive visualization and meditation my best go. Of course, prayers always help very much as well, and I always appreciate help in this department!
So, how can I stay positive to get past this stage?
Of course, I’m sure you’ll remember (if not, click here) that ultimately it is so, so, so CRUCIAL that even in the most painful of my ‘plateau’ moments I still have to keep going with my physical therapy program. After all, the whole point of it is to reset my sympathetic nervous system, teaching it that responding to activity with extreme pain is the wrong reaction.
I feel tremendous pain. There’s no fooling anyone - it is TOUGH to keep on going! I’d like to take that above-mentioned Superwoman cape and curl right on up in it for a great big nap. It’s important to note that things aren’t just rough physically, but mentally also. Motivation is the key to physicality and it’s darn near impossible to find any when buried under a mountain of pain. Let’s face it, without the right thought process I could easily be on a one-way road to Negativeville and a word I previously thought I’d never even begin to think of using - ‘quitting’.
So, where does the inspiration and positivity to keep going come from..?
Well, as I said early on in the program, I sincerely do not want to be in pain anymore. I really do want to see if this works! This is to my benefit and to my benefit only - if I cheat or sell myself short, it’s only going to (literally!) hurt me. I know that most exercise programs have a plateau so it’s logical that this one would too, you know? Furthermore, I’m proud to say that so far, I’ve managed to put in the work and to do something everyday. As a(n almost stupidly) competitive person, this provides even more inspiration, as I don’t want to waste all of the work I’ve put in! Simple. The program calls for 6 weeks of work, not for 3 weeks. I’m halfway there and man, is it killing me! But at the end of it, at least I can say, “I tried that and it wasn’t for me”… or maybe (hopefully!) even, “That was my Golden Ticket! I recommend you try that too.”
Finally, I can’t stress enough how much y’all inspire me each and every single day!!! I LOVE hearing from you, especially at times like this! From absolutely incredible stories of healing, to a simple ‘hello’ from kind and thoughtful strangers not even suffering Chronic Pain - every connection makes my day and is sure to put a smile on my face :) Pain is an incredibly debilitating and often isolating ailment - messages make it much less so, while providing constant support. Get in touch! *Contact details may be found in the yellow box to your left under ‘Tweet & Email’. I read every single word. It may take a little extra time for me to get back to you around painful times, but I ultimately always do.
NOW TELL ME: HAVE YOU HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE? WHETHER OR NOT YOU SUFFER FROM CHRONIC PAIN, WHERE DO YOU FIND THE STRENGTH & MOTIVATION TO GET OVER YOUR OWN PLATEAUS?
Happy Friday! As always, be well and pain free!
Danielle xx
![I agree, Max. Time for a break. x
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![Happy Feet go Hiking!
This morning, I was woken up slightly too bright & early as I officially began an intense physical therapy program that will go for 6-weeks and work as a pain management tool. At this point, I’ve tried almost everything! So, working on the back of my recent SCS implantation & ketamine infusion relief, we’re going back to basics as I simply try barreling through this disease in order to reset my sympathetic nervous system & hopefully gain relief.
Huh..? What..? Why..?
Well, basically my system is constantly overstimulated which leads to extreeeeme pain whenever I do, for the most part, anything. No one wants to be walking down the street to suddenly feel as though they’ve been lit on fire, right? No thanks! Not fun! It makes good sense then, that often I’ll stop what I’m doing and take a little break. While this feels great for me as the patient, unfortunately it’s a bad idea disease-wise as my hyper little nervous system then thinks it’s done the correct thing. Make sense? So, the next time I take a walk down the street, it freaks out causing perhaps even more physical-pain, and definitely acting as a pain in my ass.
When I said we’re going to barrel through, I really did mean it. Under a strict routine designed mainly by my doctor - I’ll be walking, hiking, swimming, yoga-ing, stationary biking, etc. Up at 8am to swim for an hour, before walking at least a mile, then a break, then exercises. And so on it goes…
Eeesh! Right!? I don’t even know what ‘eeesh’ means necessarily, but I’m fairly certain that it perfectly explains how I feel about this whole thing…
As a former athlete, I am excited about it, please don’t get me wrong! But my emotions are also annoyingly complicated, I suppose based on the fact that due to pain I can barely (and sometimes not) wear the shoes needed to do all of these activities! It’s overwhelming and certainly very daunting!
Despite this though, I want to win. I want to beat this. ‘They’ say that there’s no cure, but I know that I’ll be fine. I always am! And really, who are ‘they’? ‘They’ can’t even decide on a single name for this disease! Is it Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) or is it Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy? I made the decision early on not to listen to ‘them’. I will never let anyone take my hope.
Prayers & good vibes please! I’ll definitely need them.
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![Because every week should start off with something beautiful, something blue, and something to inspire and be coveted by you… xx
*Boys, please hang around for this one! I promise, it’s more than just a girly shoe post!
It is my absolute honor to lead y’all to a super fun fashion-image blog I recently discovered. Named MTV fashion and showcasing pieces of absolutely impeccable, yet still trendy, taste; I was thrilled to find it while browsing for something to distract me from my way-over-reactive nerves yesterday.
Now, if you thought that the above-mentioned shoes were something special, you’re in for even more of a treat…
Imagine my surprise when, while navigating amongst a sea of chic, I discovered a teeny, tiny blurb explaining the blog to be run by a fellow CRPS/RSD warrior named, Alicia. Having been born in Paris, but now hailing from New Zealand, Alicia uses the whimsy of fashion as an escape from the fact that, ironically, the disease has taken away her ability to walk at the far too early age of only 15 years old.
She’s beautiful, smart, confident, and has gorgeous taste. Life is cruel, but we are kind. As Spoonies, let’s rally around this lovely lady (whose other blog - a diary of her life with CRPS/RSD may be found here) and show her all the love that we can. x
Loads of love to you all & be well!
Danielle xx
Ps: Although this was not the case with Alicia, should there be another CRPS/RSD warrior/blogger that you think needs featuring, write to me and let me know why! I love hearing about experimental treatments, books, etc. also!
I’m available at: theproject3x5@gmail.com or on twitter at: theproject3x5. Don’t forget that I always love hearing from you :) xx
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