19
Mar
REAL TIME UPDATE!!!
I am on top of Kansas. The whole thing. Yes, all at once.
To clarify: I’m in a plane. To clarify further: I don’t think the map I see is to scale.
Do you live there? Look up at the sky quickly and you might catch a glimpse of that dreadfully enthusiastic face pictured above (yikes!), staring down on you as I make my to New York City.
I am beyond excited! As evidenced by the super cool thumbs up. As a HUGE fan of the original ‘The Wizard of Oz’ movie starring Judy Garland as ‘Dorothy’, I’m excited to be flying over Kansas! And my tummy did a little flip as I came to a very wonderful - if not somewhat ironic based on my current location - realisation of the staggering truth behind…
“There’s no place like home.”
Flying over Kansas and thinking about the Wizard of Oz, brought to mind the above quote - from the movie of course! As a so called “3rd Culture Kid” - a person whose childhood was spent in many different countries - home has always been a confusing concept to me, yet this remains one of my favorite quotes of all time. As Dorothy’s words swirled in my mind, it sunk in that to be honest for the first time in a VERY long time - years, even - I feel settled and normal and very much me. To feel properly comfortable and confident within yourself? How much more “home” is it possible that one may get?
I can’t tell you what a fantastic feeling it is to know that “despite the odds” (ugh, I hate having to include that, but that’s the whole point, huh?) I am indeed still and perhaps much more - actually, definitely much more! - strong and independent. Enough so to get through a situation on my own, despite the fact that yes, something happened to me and for a while there I needed a lot of help. Despite the fact that yes, I may still sometimes need help! (Whatever. Who doesn’t?) To know that should something go wrong in the hustle and bustle of the long-forbidden “Real World” - a world of sharp objects (!) and ignorant, hurried masses (!) - all it really takes is a deep breath and my own clear thinking and confidence to solve the problem.
Don’t get me wrong for a single second. I have appreciated every bit of every caregiver’s love, support, and assistance. I’m not casting them off! In fact I feel I’m doing quite the opposite. I want to say that if it weren’t for my Mother, Father, and Sister standing up for me and acting as my ‘shaky bits’ when I quite couldn’t… I think I would have forgotten how to not be quite so shaky on my own. When I needed to solely focus on the physical, or found it necessary to hide my recent-past for fear the devastation of its loss would keep me from the seemingly impossible task of remission and pain; the 3 of you became an impenatrable safe, full of pure love for me - without which I would have lost myself in the trauma of this all.
Thanks guys. I love you very much. xxxx
via ganjagr3mlin